Toddler Talk Thursday: Little Helper

This week's topic for Toddler Talk is "How does your toddler try to be a big helper?"

Caleb is a "good" helper or at least he thinks he is.  The number one thing that he wants to "help" with his the dishwasher.  Boy, does he ever want to help with that dishwasher.  Ever since he has been able to walk, around 13 months, when he hears that dishwasher open up he runs to it and tries to either unload or load it.  He has recently also learned how to twist the knob so I can't tell you how many times I will be sitting here and all of a sudden I hear the dishwasher water start to run.  I really wish he wouldn't help quite so much with the dishwasher.  LOL

Caleb does actually like to help clean up toys, though.  The trick is to keep his attention enough before he tries to dump out everything that you have just cleaned up.

He also really like to sweep the kitchen floor.  He is constantly trying to get the broom and push it all around the floor.  I have contemplated buying him his own little vaccum, broom, mop set but I'm sure it would just turn into 3 more things that I have to pick up everyday.

Toddler Talk: Healthy Snacks

Today's Toddler Talk is about Healthy Snacks.

Food is a major issue in our house.  Scott refers to me as "the Food Nazi," I'm not so sure that is a good thing.  I did not grow up always eating the healthiest food (lots of Southern-style meals) but I was also very, very active and we played outside a lot more than kids these days so I guess I kind of balanced the good with the bad.

Here are some of our favorite healthy snacks:

String cheese

Apples dipped in peanut butter with honey

raisins

yogurt with granola

hard-boiled egg whites

all-natural applesauce

bananas

grapes

whole grain Goldfish

I can't wait to see your ideas.  I am always looking for healthy kids to give the kiddos.

Toddler Talk: Bedtime

The dreaded bedtime routine.  I have to be honest, and I know it is going to upset a lot of people, but I really don't have issues with bedtime.  I am a firm, firm, firm, firm--did you get that?--FIRM believer in routine.  I have always tried to keep my kids on a pretty strict schedule when it comes to meals, naps, and bedtime.

Of course, we have the random

"I need a drink"

"I need to go potty"

"I wanna sleep in your bed"

issues and when those arise I just deal with that issue right then and then send them right off to bed.

The child I had the most trouble with is Gracie but that is because I kept her in the bassinet my bed way too long.  Yes, you read that right, I have co-slept with all of my children up until about 4 months.  Now, I don't necessarily mean that they would go to bed with me but I had the bassinet right next to me and usually ended up having them sleep with me.  I was always so worried about SIDS and not being able to hear or see them breathing.  I figure that I slept better and I know they did, too.  I know that it is controversial but it worked for us and I would definitely do it again.

Because I waited until she was about a year old to fully put her in her own crib, I had a good two months of crying and screaming every, single night but I stayed with it.  Every night I would walk in to her room, lay her back in the bed, and walk out.  Did my heart break?  YES.  But, it finally worked and now she goes to bed when it is time to go to bed.

With all 3 of my kids, I'm blessed to say, all I have to do is say that it is bedtime/naptime (not Kanin anymore) and they will just lay down and know that it is time to go to sleep.

If I were going to give "pointers", I'd say:

1. Be consistent . . . don't let them go to bed with you one night and then next night try to make them sleep in their own bed.  (Of course this rule is meant to be broken when they are sick)

2. Stick to a routine . . . whatever you want the routine to be.  Bathtime, snuggle time, bed

Read a book, play, bed

8:00 every night, etc.

I know it sounds absurd but when trying to teach our kids the routine, we literally have hurried off from restaurants, friends' houses, etc just to make sure that they were in bed at bedtime.  We are more relaxed about it now that everyone understands that we might break bedtime every once in a while but when teaching them we always stuck to the routine.

3. Don't keep them in bed for you for your sake . . . does that make sense?  It is so awesome to get snuggles and kisses and hugs from our babies and I think a lot of time we want to hold them in that baby stage but it is really more to fulfill our needs than theirs.  There is plenty of time for snuggles during the day or maybe set aside a little extra time each night but you don't want them still sleeping in bed with you at 7 or 8, do you?

I know this sounds "too easy" and it definitely has not been.  Lots of work, lots of practice, lots of tears (from them and me) but I've always kept in my mind what I wanted my goal to be:

A drama-free bedtime routine!


Toddler Talk Thursdays: A Letter To Your Toddler

It's Toddler Talk Thursdays again and today's topic is to write a letter to your toddler as they are today.  If you want to participate, click on the button below. 

This turned out to be a lot harder than I expected.  

 

Dear Sweet Baby Caleb,

  I wish that I could make you understand how much I love you.  There is no way to let you know how much you have filled my heart and completed our family.  There was a piece missing to our puzzle before you came and you just wiggled your way into that spot perfectly. 

  You scared me those first few hours of your life and the week afterwards but you bounced out of it and no one would know the difference.  I have a feeling, though, that there will be more scares in my future.  With your no-fear attitude, I fear you will be my child with broken bones and stitches.  That's ok, though, because I will be write there to kiss the boo boos and make you feel better. 

  You are funny, sweet, energetic, and smart.  You like to run and jump and bounce.  And climb.  Boy, do you like to climb.

  You love that you always have to stand in the same spot in the family room when we play ball.

  I love watching you grow and learn everyday.  You can say about 20 words and you learn more every single day.  You love to sing and you love to follow your big brother and sister around saying "Geecies" and "Bubba" (Gracie and Bubba). 

  I love that you are easy-going and laid back 99% of the time.  I even love, at least for now, the other 1% when you get mad, pout, and try to throw a fit. 

  I love how sensitive you are.  I hope you keep a bit of that.

  I just love everything about you.

  Your red hair.

  Your blue eyes.

  The way you say "Momma" over and over and if I don't answer the way you get louder with a shortened, "Ma!"  It makes me smile.

  Your sweet little toes and pudgy fingers.

   I love the way you stop and turn to the TV when the Dora or Diego theme songs come on and how you start to dance.

   I love that you will eat whatever I put in front of you without curling up your nose.

   I love that you have started to sing with me on our special "I love you" song.  It is so cute.

   I love when you want to be held you will come over with your arms up and say, "Huggie."  It just melts my heart.

   I love how you have just fitted right into this crazy life and how you made us all fall head over hills in love with you.

  I love that you remind me of Kanin when he was your age.  You have let me re-live a little of his toddler years.  I love that you say "Bob Bob" for Spongebob just like he did.

  I love being your Mommy.  You are one of the greatest gifts I have ever received and I cherish every moment I get to spend with you.

Love,

Mommy

Toddler Talk Thursdays-Temper Tantrums

Ah, yes, those wonderful temper tantrums are today's topic for Toddler Talk.  Click on the link to get involved:

 I guess if you want me to be all scientific and psychological about tantrums I will say that a tantrum is just a way for a child to express their wants and desires but they do not have the verbal capacity to do so.  Children who throw temper tantrums are secure in your love for them and they feel secure enough to express themselves in whatever emotional way that comes out.  (And they don't care if you are in the middle of Target when they decide to have a good one, either). If you want me to be realistic, they really tick me off.  I don't really get that upset when my now 19-month-old throws one, actually it is kind of cute, but I also know that he has no other way of letting me know that he is upset.  Even though he doesn't communicate very well verball (he can say a few words), I will still tell him, "That is not how we act."  I then make sure he isn't going to flail himself into a wall, oven, or sharp object and I turn my back on him.  He usually ends up following me and when I sit down he will climb up and want a hug.   However, once they start using words to communicate, I am not a fan of just ignoring the behavior.  I know that this may work sometimes and I might even be willing to try it at home but if any of my children have ever or will ever throw a tantrum in public, I do not/will not ignore it.  It is just embarrassing and I don't think other people should have to be subjected to it . . . especially at dinner.  I will always address it either by taking them to the bathroom, outside, or even leaving wherever we are.  Tantrums are just not cute. I've always heard people talk about the Terrible Two's but, personally, I'll take the 2's over the 3's any day of the week.  When my children are around 2-years-old I introduce the naughty spot.  Whenever they act up, talk back, throw a tantrum, etc. I make them sit in the naughty spot.  I actually tell them, "Uh oh, that's not how we act.  Go sit in the naughty spot."  Caleb has seen Gracie and Kanin sit in the naughty spot so many times that he can actually show you where it is.  LOL By the time the kiddos reach 3, though, I have zero patience and zero tolerance for a temper tantrum.  At 3-years-old they know what they want to say and how they want to say it.  Now that doesn't mean that we don't still have them around here but I address them right then.  If a temper tantrum even begins, I pick them up and carry them to their room.  I then tell them "You can come out when you stop your xx (whining, crying, yelling, kicking, etc)."  Then, I shut the door and walk away.  Yes, I have heard things being thrown and lots of screaming but usually within about 5 minutes they will walk back down and ask if they can come out now.  I will then tell them that if they are done throwing a fit that they can come back and join us.  If they start in again, I usually just have to say, "If you start this again, you are going to go back to your room." When things have gotten really bad I have also:  sent them to bed with no dinner (gasp!), made them go to bed early (bad Mommy), and I have swatted them (don't call CPS).  Of course, I HATE when it gets to a swat but it is just to get their attention and I feel they MUST learn that certain actions are not acceptable.   Knock on wood and Thank God above, it has been a long time since any of my three have had a really bad temper tantrum.  It is by no means a storybook life around here but I feel like I have learned some tools to help me get through it. The book that helped me the most is Parenting with Love and Logic by Dr. Foster Cline and Jim Fay.  It is such a great book that offers tons of tips for children of all ages.  They also have seminars around the country and you can "Like" them on FB to get updates. I think another thing to point out is that what works with one child will not necessarily work with another so I try to find out what they are "in" to at the moment and use that as a punishment, "You tried to hit Mommy so no Dora the rest of the day."   I'm really interested to hear how others respond to temper tantrums.  I know there is no ONE way and I am always looking for new solutions.  

Toddler Talk Thursday-Potty Training

Ah, the thing that mothers want but dread the most.  This week's topic for Toddler Talk is Potty Training.  If you have any advice and want to join in on the fun, go here:



I have gone through the potty training stage twice, once with a boy and once with a girl.  I am in no way an expert but I think I can give some lessons that I learned.

#1 The very best piece of advice I can give to anyone considering potty training is do NOT push too hard.  There are only a couple of things that the littles have control over:  eating and using the potty.  If you push and push, potty training will definitely turn into a control issue and your little one will win. 

I remember when we were trying to potty train Kanin we tried everything in the book:  rewards, punishments, pep talks, potty books, Cheerios, big potties, little potties, potties that sing, etc. The bottom line was that he was going to do it when HE wanted to do it.  As soon as we all shut up and did not say another word about it, he started using the potty. 

#2  Really pay attention to if your child is ready or not.  I know that sometimes we want to rush this thing along because we are tired of the diapers and the poop but I've seen people try to start potty training way, way, way too early and then the parent gets frustrated.  I don't think that there is a certain age where they are ready.  Every kid is different in maturity level and that is really what you have to pay attention to.

#3 Kanin has always "pee'd" standing up.  I know that a lot of people train little boys by sitting down on the little potties but he always saw Gaga going and Gaga stood up so that's what he wanted to do.  Yes, it was messy at times but if that's how he wanted to pee well who am I to stop him?  He also never used a little potty chair.  We just got the potty ring that sits right on top of the big toilet, put a stool in the bathroom, and that's where he went.

#4 I'm not a big fan of giving M&M's or candy for going to the potty but that's just me.  If it works for you, go for it.

#5 Take all advice with a grain of salt.  Only you know your child and only you know their maturity level.  Don't feel like you are doing something wrong if your child isn't potty trained by age X.  I'm quite sure your child will not go to kindergarten still wearing a diaper. 

#6 Gracie was easy to actually potty train but had trouble with accidents.  We sometimes went through 3 or 4 pairs of panties a day.  Like all kids she would get busy playing and wait too long but I think because she was a girl and had to unbutton her pants, pull her panties all of the way down, get up on the potty, etc. she just couldn't hold it that long.  I did get frustrated and so tired of little puddles in the bathroom floor but she finally got it.

#7 If you are using a potty chair, keep it in the same spot (preferrably the bathroom) so they know where to go each and everytime to do their thing.  Gracie was potty trained in our downstairs bathroom.  To this day she will still walk down the stairs to use that bathroom even though there are 2 upstairs.  I try to tell her she can use all of them, and she will in an emergency, but for the most part, she always comes downstairs.  LOL

Hope this helps!

Toddler Talk: Adding To Your Family

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Last week I linked up with Toddler Talk Thursdays when the discussion focused on toddlers and their loveys.  My post about Caleb and his friend was chosen as the highlighted blog of the week.  I am honored!

 This week's topic also hits close to home.  This week we are talking about adding to your family and how to know if you are ready for a new baby. When Scott and I got married we already had Kanin.  Kanin was 2 and to say that I was ready for another baby would be an understatement.  I jokingly told everyone within earshot, "I'd better get pregnant on my wedding night."  To be honest with you, I don't think Scott and I even talked about it other than he was under a lot of pressure.  LOL  Fast-forward nine months and  . . .

After quitting my job, staying home with the kids, and adjusting to the life as a mom of two, I started thinking about another baby when Gracie was about 15 months old but we were in no way trying to have another child.  I had a lot of female problems after Gracie and had to change birth controls several times.

One day I woke up and had that feeling.  If you've had that feeling you know what I'm talking about.  Run to the store, buy the test and it is positive.  We were shocked to say the least.  The third baby was definitely not planned and not discussed but still such a blessing.

When I think back on life with two kids instead of three, I laugh at myself for thinking it was stressful.  I had no clue how difficult life with three would be.  Gracie and Caleb are exactly 2 years and 2 days about.  Just everyday things that I took for granted when I had two kids could no longer happen when I had three.  The first thing that came to mind was that I had to change cars.  Going to the grocery store?  Forget about it.  By the time I put the carseat in the basket, there was no room for groceries and Gracie still had to ride up front.  Caleb obviously needed a lot of my attention but, of course, Gracie was still so little and Kanin needed attention, too.  The only word I can describe the first year was STRESS.

After all of that, would you believe that we actually talked about having a fourth?  So far, though, we've each talked about it at separate times.  When I was kind of leaning toward having another one, Scott was an absolute "No."  A couple of times he has stirred that conversation and I have been at "No."  I really think that I am done.  I thought that I would have that tug again, and maybe if Gracie were already in kindergarten I would, but I don't know if I could handle it.  Just being honest.  I love my babies but sometimes they do get on my nerves and I think, "there is no way I could do another one." 

I guess that is where we are.  I've heard people say it is like meeting your spouse, "When you know, you know."  For now, I NO.