Stop! Before you start thinking that I am crazy, let me explain . . .
In the past week I have had three friends deliver little baby girls. One friend is due any day now with a little girl and then my niece, Sarah, will be giving us all little baby Ian in June. That's a lot of babies in a short time and it just makes me nostalgic and a bit jealous.
Believe me, I have my hands full with three kids between school, naps, diapers, spills, clean-ups, "Mommy I need help", "oops it was an accident" and "she hit me first" but when I stop and think about it I could see myself having another baby. Logically, though, I know that another baby is probably not in my future and I understand that I have to take the baby home from the hospital and actually raise it-lol.
There is just something about having a baby that is joyous. No, I don't mean the stuff before or after the hospital, I mean something about actually having the baby. The labor part is really my favorite part of the whole thing. Yes, of course, it hurts and I want to scream at everyone and cuss them out and cuss myself out and think "Don't you ever come near me again!!" but then when the baby is actually delivered and the nurse puts the baby in my arms for the first time, I can't even explain the feeling. It is like the best drug in the world. To me, it literally feels like I am holding a piece of Heaven.
I know that it is probably different for moms than it is dads and maybe it is just me but you have to understand. When I amcarrying this little egg inside of me that is literally all I think about: "Am I eating the right food? Did I drink enough water? Can I take a bath? Is this normal or should I call my doctor?". It seems like my mind never settles. Then, as the due date gets closer and my bag is packed by the door all I can think about is "maybe tonight will be the night". Every pain makes me wonder if this is the beginning of labor. Like I said, for 9 whole months this little baby is all I can think about: "Will it be a boy or girl? I wonder if he/she will have hair? What will we name her/him? What about babysitters? I hope her brother and sister will accept her. How am I going to do this?".
So, when the moment finally comes and I have to focus solely on getting the baby out, it is a very powerful moment.
And, when I finally get to see, touch, smell and hear this miracle that I have been carrying, it is absolutely the best minute (or 3 for me) of my life.
Here is where the sad, jealous and happy feelings come in for all of my new mommy friends out there (and repeat mommies, too). I am sad that I probably won't get to experience this again, jealous that your baby is only a few days old while mine are 6, 2 and 10 months. But, I am so incredibly happy for you all. For the new mommies, you will absolutely learn what it is like to love something more than you have loved anything before. It is the greatest gift to that you will ever receive.