Unanswered Questions

Yesterday morning I received a call that a girl I knew had taken her own life. 

The last 24 hours have been somewhat of a blur.

"Jane" and I were not what I would call friends but we were friendly.  We saw each other several times a year and kept up with each other's lives on Facebook making an occasional comment here and there but we didn't call each other or go out on our own mostly just because of geography and being busy with our own lives.  No matter our relationship, it was devastating to hear the news.

There are so many questions that I guess will always be unanswered. So many things that I cannot comprehend or understand.  Questions and images that won't get out of my head.

Even from a removed distance from her, I have experienced so many emotions over the past almost 24 hours. 

Shock-just utter and total shock

Sadness-for her sweet family and extended family

Anger-lots and lots of anger and why's and how could she

Compassion and Sadness-to think that "Jane" felt that she had no other alternative, that no one would miss her, that people would be better off without her.

Oh, how I wish she could see the grieving that is taking place and to know that people did care about her and for her.  That her life meant something to more people than just her immediate family.  That no matter how bad she thought it was, people still loved her.

If you get a second today, could you please say a prayer for "Jane" and her family.  God will know who she is.