Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Cut Out To Be a Mom

I understand that the job of being a mother is the most important job that I will ever, ever have.  I have the responsibility to not only maintain their health and welfare during the baby, toddler, pre-teen and teenage years but even more than that is that I have the awesome responsibility to ensure that my children become honest, hard-working, ethical, spiritual, healthy adults.  That is a tall order to be put in charge of and I have to be honest and say that sometimes I don't know if I am cut out for the job.

I sometimes wonder if I am actually "cut out to be a mom".  I know that, obviously, I have no choice in that matter now.  That choice was made over six years ago and I would not trade my life with children for my life without children for anything.

But . . .

There are those times that I am a little jealous of those who don't have the responsibility of making every decision for a little person (or in my case 3 little people).  Sometimes I wish that I could just go get a pedicure, go out to dinner or just take a nap without having to either get a babysitter or check with the hubby to see if he is going to be around and if he cares that I get away for a couple of hours.

It's not only the longing for a little freedom that creeps into my mind.  I sometimes wonder if I'm doing things right.  If I were, would my children be constantly fighting with each other?  Would they be mouthing off back at me?  What is it that I'm not doing right?

I had a thought yesterday that really my children are a direct reflection of me.  I yell at them, they yell at each other.  I boss them around, they try to boss each other around.  I wonder if when they look back on their childhood days if that's what they will remember about me?  I hope that they will realize then that I didn't let them get away with things because I was preparing them for their adult years and not trying to appease them during these current years.

It's a very overwhelming task sometimes, to be a mom.  I never realized before I had children how utterly drained, mentally exhausted  and emotionally empty it can sometimes be.  It is a thankless job at times but I'm hoping that someday I will look back and think that I didn't do half bad.


  1. I totally agree !!! The other day, a rather difficult day, I was making small-talk to someone about how demanding the kids can be and how tiresome it can be day after day, and she told me that she would do anything to be able to have kids...i almost cried...even when we struggle it is sooo worth it! We are thankful for the stress they add to our lives, what would we do without them?!

  2. You are so right. I try not to linger on the bad or trying stuff and just focus on the good parts. I have several friends that have had either a really difficult time getting pregnant or they still haven't been able to so I do have to remind myself of that whenever the kids are driving me crazy!!