Friday, March 4, 2011

Words Hurt


Last night I got hit with a case of Mommy guilt.  I sometimes think about if there were a tape recorder of me talking to my children how embarrassed I would be.  Nothing like cursing at them or anything like but just my tone.  I sometimes realize, after the fact, that I was a little harsh in answering the question, a little short-tempered in waiting on them to carry out what I had asked them to do, a little too mean.

Obviously I don't want to talk to my babies that way but after hearing "Mommy, Moooom, Mooooommmmmmyyyyy!!!!" all day long, I just can't hardly take the sound of their voices sometimes.  Usually when I hear them yelling at me it is in demand of something trivial and it is something that they could do on their own but they would rather me stop what I'm doing to come and wait on them.

I am trying to raise responsible adults but sometimes I forget that they are just children.  Babies really.  A short 3 1/2 years ago GracieAnn was still in my belly and yet I expect her to be able to turn the light on and off, pick up every toy in the toyroom, and need no assistance in the bathroom. 

I need to remember that feeling that I used to get when my parents would yell out my name, "Alicia April Dawn!"   You know that feeling, that rock in the pit of your stomach and the butterflies.  Wondering what it was that you did wrong and what the punishment would be.  I hated that feeling.  I remember even way into my college years and I would be visiting my parents and one of them would yell my name out and I would get that feeling again.  Then, I had to remind myself that I couldn't "get in trouble" any longer and it was such a sigh of relief.

So, my goal is to try to stop and take a breath before just lashing out at them.  I'm sure that I will fail at times but I am going to keep trying.  I don't want my kids to look back on their childhood and just remember Mommy as the "one who yelled at us."


  1. Thank you for this post. I needed it today. I've seemed to be going thru the same thing lately and I feel very bad. I'm trying to make an effort to be positive in every situation and remind myself that someday I'm gonna miss them being at this age. They won't call my name before too long and I'm gonna be sad about that. Time goes by so quickly. Thanks again for such an honest post. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone! =0)

  2. Oh April, I am like crying and laughing at the same time...I feel that way all the time! You are sooooo NOT going to remembered by being "the yeller"! You are such a great Mom and inspiration to all of us Moms...we do yell sometimes, but at my takes a raised voice to get them to "hear" me!

  3. I also needed to read this post today! Very big thanks for sharing! I have the same mommy guilt & alot of it is my tone. I hate that I also get super impatient with them sometimes...ahhh the balances of being momma, eh?! Hope you have a great Friday:)

  4. I am so sure it is more in your head than what is really going on. They will never remember you for that! I hope you have a stress-free weekend, you deserve it. :)
    ANd thanks for always being such a great supporter and commenter on my blog. It really does mean so much to me!

  5. OMG I could have written this exact post!! I hate that I do but it comes tumbling put before I can stop it. I had a super mean mom and swore I would always be sweet to my kids. :(

    P.s I gave you an award on Thursday. Xo