Wednesday, March 2, 2011

You Just Give Her a Good, Hard Shove

Yep, that's the advice that I gave to my 7-year-old, 1st grade son tonight when he told me that a girl at school has been "threatening" him.

Kanin had a rough night at home tonight and was acting up quite a bit.  He was being aggressive (not mean), trying to scare Gracie and Caleb (even after we told him to calm down), and it resulted in a early bedtime for him.  Scott went back to tell him good-night and came back and told me that I needed to go in there.

Kanin proceeded to tell me that a girl in his class came up to him and put her fist in his face and said,
"I can beat you up."
He said that he just told her, "No, you can't" and then walked away.  Knowing Kanin, I'm sure that is true because he is scared to get into trouble at school and he really isn't the kind of boy that would egg on another student . . . his sister-YES!

Later on in P.E. the same little girl came up and grabbed his shirt and brought her fist back and said, "I can beat you up and I'm going to."  I guess she got distracted by something else and he ran away.

You can imagine the thoughts going through my head when he was telling me this.  Of course, my first instinct is to protect him and call the teacher and the school and tell them exactly what happened but, let's face it, it would be he said/she said and what could they really do about it now?  Plus, I know that he has to fight his own battles and learn that in life some people are just trouble-makers and that there are some people that you just will never get along with.

Had the "she" been a "he" I would have told him to haul off and punch him back IF the other guy punched first.  Since it was a "she" I just told him that "IF she does hit you, you take both of your hands and you shove her as hard as you can and then go get a teacher.  If she just says that she is going to hit you, just go tell the teacher that your mom told you to tell them."

Yep, that's what I told him and that's what I meant.  Will it end up getting him in trouble with the school, probably but not before they receive a piece of my mind.  What is he supposed to do?  Just let some little girl (or boy) punch him and stand there and take it.  I don't think so.

I did also tell him to try to get along with her and if they couldn't get along then to try to stay away from her.

I guess my other question is . . . where was the teacher.  I mean they are 1st graders so I would assume know that they need a lot of supervision.

I hope that nothing becomes of it and that he doesn't have to take my advice but if he does, I won't feel a bit guilty about it.  I teach my children to respect themselves, respect each other, respect other people and their property.  Too bad that this child hasn't learned that lesson yet.

Even though I stand by my decision, I'm curious to know what you would tell your son?


  1. It was killing me just reading this! My protective instincts would totally come out if this happened to my boys. Definitely he should tell the teacher if he gets threatened, and definitely push back if he actually does get punched. And run to the teacher immediately! There are too many years left in school for her to to get the idea that he is easy prey...nip that in the bud now, right? Good job Mama!

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  3. Newest follower through the blog hop :) Interesting post as it makes one think. I don't have any children - but I know there is a problem with children bullying others. I don't know what I would do...

  4. I absolutely agree with you on this one. One one hand we have the 'well what are you teaching him by telling him to push back'...but on the other hand, what are you teaching him if you tell him to just take it and ignore it? Especially with social media bringing to light all of the bullying happening all over the map, the school would and SHOULD get involved in this instance to nip it in the bud now - if noone stops this little girl imagine what she could grow in to?? Oh gosh, I'm gonna be a looney when I have school aged children!!

  5. I totally agree with you. He shouldn't feel helpless just because the bully is a girl. I would ask the same question too. Where was this teacher? But I hope it turns out for the best.

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  6. I agree that you can't let Kanin get beat up without a fight, just b/c it's a girl!! No matter what happens, physically, at school, talking to him about "why" kids bully is what I think is important so that he learns from this unfortunate situation. Kanin is a sweet kid and it is terrible that he has to be the brunt of a child who probably has issues at home or may get bullied by her's world is so sad :( Keep us posted on what happens.

  7. I think your advice is fair. I would want to know if my daughter was that I think discussing it with a teacher and or the parent is not a bad idea.

    Hope it works itself out!