Thursday, January 27, 2011

A Mommy's Breaking Heart

Tonight was a big step in GracieAnn's life and a little more of the baby was taken away.  I took the binky away.

For the past several months Gracie has only been allowed a binky at naptime or at bedtime.  She has done fine with this until the past couple of weeks and all of a sudden I see her sneeking them all of the time.  She takes them away from Caleb, hides in the corner, sneaks in the bathroom.  Anything to get a binky. 

I'm not really sure if something has changed or if she is feeling insecure or what BUT she will be 4 in July and it is time that the binkies were gone. So tonight was the night.

She actually did ok when she first went to bed.  I made the bad mistake of offering a sippy cup of milk in place of the binky.  The whole time I was getting the milk I chastised myself because I didn't want to replace one crutch with another but I went ahead with it anyway.  Well, she slammed that milk down and in about 10 minutes I heard, "Mommy, I know I said that I would take milk instead of the binky but now I really think I just want the binky."

I went up to her room and tried to think of everyone she loves that doesn't have a binky.  "I know but I still want one."

I tried to tell her that we can't go back to Disney World as long as she has a binky (she asks me to go back to DWevery single day).  "That's ok.  Daddy has to make more money anway."

I tried to ask her why she wanted a binky.  Why she likes the binky.  "I don't know.  It helps me sweep."   (could you just die from the sweetness?)

So, I just told her I'd be back in a bit to check on her and let her cry.  She cried for an hour.  It was heartbreaking.  I don't mean fake tears.  I mean breaking a three-year-old girl's heart tears. 

Finally, after an hour of crying there was silence.  I crept up the stairs and checked on her and she had finally fallen asleep.  No binky.  I did it!

Then . . . I came downstairs and I cried.  I cried Mommy tears.  Heart-wrenching, baby-slipping-away, please-don't-grow-up tears. 


  1. Those are the roughest, toughest Mommy momeents. I feel your pain, friend. I'm also so proud of you though. Those cry it out moments are the worst! =(

  2. Ok now I'm crying! We are right there with you! We need to take away the bink and I'm scared.

  3. Hang in there momma! I know it's hard. Timothy was 10 months old and we left the house and forgot the pacifier. Tim refused to turn around and Timothy never took a pacifier again, and didn't make a peep about it. But now he sucks his thumb and I cannot figure out how to break that.

    With Mason we took it away right after his 1st birthday, and it was a rouch week but we made it!

    I plan to take Taylor's away after her 1st birthday too!

  4. oh my goodness...I'm so not looking forward to those days. My trouble right now is we can't get our daughter to sleep through the night...and she absolutely will not go to sleep without being in her Woombie. We have to get rid of it, she's getting too big but when I try to put her down for a nap with out it she screams like I'm killing her...I put her in it and she's out in a snap :(

    new fan stopping by from Bee Friendly Friday Follow. I hope you have a great weekend, would love if you stopped by my blog sometime.

    Adventures in Abbyland

  5. Hello! I am a new follower via Bee Friendly Friday. I can empathize with you. When my kids were younger, I struggled with getting the Binky away from them. Like you, I cried when they cried over letting go of something so important. It'll get better with time.

  6. Thanks for the follow April. Following you back :)

  7. Oh- that breaks my heart too. It is so hard to take away a "security" from our babies. My oldest took a paci but he was not overly attached so he was easy to break. My 18 month old is very attached to his paci so I will be facing this problem soon. Good for you for sticking to your guns last night and not giving in. Hopefully, it will get easier each night.
    By the way, your sweet Gracie looks adorable sleeping on her Dora pillow.

  8. new follower from bee friendly friday blog hop. i'd love for you to stop by my blog and follow back.