Tonight was a big step in GracieAnn's life and a little more of the baby was taken away. I took the binky away.
For the past several months Gracie has only been allowed a binky at naptime or at bedtime. She has done fine with this until the past couple of weeks and all of a sudden I see her sneeking them all of the time. She takes them away from Caleb, hides in the corner, sneaks in the bathroom. Anything to get a binky.
I'm not really sure if something has changed or if she is feeling insecure or what BUT she will be 4 in July and it is time that the binkies were gone. So tonight was the night.
She actually did ok when she first went to bed. I made the bad mistake of offering a sippy cup of milk in place of the binky. The whole time I was getting the milk I chastised myself because I didn't want to replace one crutch with another but I went ahead with it anyway. Well, she slammed that milk down and in about 10 minutes I heard, "Mommy, I know I said that I would take milk instead of the binky but now I really think I just want the binky."
I went up to her room and tried to think of everyone she loves that doesn't have a binky. "I know but I still want one."
I tried to tell her that we can't go back to Disney World as long as she has a binky (she asks me to go back to DWevery single day). "That's ok. Daddy has to make more money anway."
I tried to ask her why she wanted a binky. Why she likes the binky. "I don't know. It helps me sweep." (could you just die from the sweetness?)
So, I just told her I'd be back in a bit to check on her and let her cry. She cried for an hour. It was heartbreaking. I don't mean fake tears. I mean breaking a three-year-old girl's heart tears.
Finally, after an hour of crying there was silence. I crept up the stairs and checked on her and she had finally fallen asleep. No binky. I did it!
Then . . . I came downstairs and I cried. I cried Mommy tears. Heart-wrenching, baby-slipping-away, please-don't-grow-up tears.